March 1st is Self-Injury and Self-Harm Awareness Day (SIAD) – a great time to have an open, honest, and compassionate conversation about self-harm and self-injury. This topic can be tough to talk about but understanding it better can help us support those who might be struggling. So, let’s break some myths, share some helpful tips, and learn how to be there for each other.
Content warning: while the topic of this blog can be upsetting and triggering for some people, the way it is talked about is about more about reassuring and supporting people.
What is Self-Harm?
Self-harm is when someone intentionally hurts themselves as a way to cope with overwhelming emotions. This can include cutting, burning, scratching, pinching themselves or other ways of inflicting pain. It’s important to know that self-harm is usually not a suicide attempt — it’s more about trying to manage emotions that feel out of control.
Common Myths About Self-Harm
1. “They’re just looking for attention.”
Nope! Most people who self-harm keep it private and don’t want anyone to know. It’s not about attention — it’s a sign of emotional distress.
2. “Only teenagers do this.”
Self-harm can affect people of all ages, backgrounds, and genders. While it’s often talked about in relation to teens, young children and adults can struggle with it too.
3. “If they self-harm, they must be suicidal.”
Not necessarily. Many people use self-harm as a way to cope, not because they want to end their lives. That said, it’s still a sign that someone needs support.
4. “They can just stop if they really want to.”
Self-harm is often a deeply ingrained coping mechanism. Telling someone to “just stop” isn’t helpful — they need support, understanding, and healthier alternatives to deal with their emotions.
How to Support Someone Who Self-Harms
If someone you care about is struggling with self-harm, here’s how you can help:
- Ask them how things are going or how they are feeling. Let them know you are there if they feel down or stressed. If they are not ready to talk about it, try another time or suggest they speak to someone who makes them feel comfortable.
- Stay calm. Listen without judgment. Let them talk without fear of being criticized or punished. If the person seems upset or angry, it may just mean they are feeling ashamed or worried about what you might think.
- Educate yourself. Learning about self-harm helps you be a better support system.
- Encourage professional support. Therapists, counsellors and support groups can provide the right tools to cope in healthier ways. Encourage the person to seek support for themselves, or offer to help them make contact with one or more of the suggested supports.
- Suggest alternative coping strategies. Things like journaling, art, exercise, or mindfulness can be great outlets for emotional distress. Playing a game, watching a movie or listening to their favourite music can also act as helpful distractions. Finding a substitute action that causes no injury, such as punching a pillow, squeezing an ice cube or deep breathing can also be a great diversion technique.
- Be patient. Healing isn’t instant. Show them you’re there for them, no matter how long it takes.
Remember that you need support too. Talk to a mental health professional or someone you trust about what’s going on and how you feel. However upsetting it can be to see a loved one in distress, remember that self-harming behaviour is treatable and not everyone who self-harms is suicidal.
Is Self-Harm a Crisis?
Self-harm is a sign that someone is struggling, but it’s not always an emergency.
However, it can be a crisis if:
- They express suicidal thoughts or have a plan.
- They’ve seriously injured themselves.
- Their self-harming behaviour is escalating.
- They feel completely hopeless or like a burden.
- If you think someone is in immediate danger, don’t hesitate to encourage them to reach out for help—whether it’s a trusted adult, a professional, or a crisis hotline.
It can be helpful to draft up a safety plan or learn mental health first aid so you know what to do in a crisis.
For a full list of mental health crisis support service, please visit our Crisis Support page.
Let’s Break the Stigma Together
There’s so much misunderstanding around self-harm, but by talking about it with kindness and honesty, we can help break down the stigma. The more we educate ourselves and support each other, the more we create a world where people feel safe reaching out for help.
So, on this Self-Injury and Self-Harm Awareness Day, let’s be the kind of friends, family members, and allies who make a difference. Because no-one should feel alone in their pain.
This blog was written as a collaboration between our Safe Haven (crisis support service) and Safe Harbour (crisis prevention service) teams.
